wrigley field is MILF paradise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
