so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
