I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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