i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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