Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
