if you like me you must not know who I am
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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