dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize