Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
