i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.