Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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