Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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