Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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