Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
