I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
