yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
