So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize