I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
