Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
