Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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