Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
