i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
