just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
