My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
