We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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