Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
