after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
