oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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