last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
