school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
