the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
