Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
