you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
