this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she told me i tasted like america
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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