Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
