cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
