Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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(979): View more from Texas

I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

Fav 53 4247 1125
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(989): View more from Michigan

We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.

Fav 6 3040 858
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

(225): View more from Louisiana

where am I supposed to find one of those?

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(630): View more from Illinois

They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

Fav 19 1820 3218
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.

Fav 11 1374 2245
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(314): View more from Missouri

struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?

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