she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
