I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
