there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
