the day after is always just damage control
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
