So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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