Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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