Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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