Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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