Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
