Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
