I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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