nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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