We're facebook friends in real life
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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