I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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