he wants to bone in the snuggie
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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