You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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