im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
