I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
