i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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