Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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