PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
