omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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