Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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