Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
