my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm passing your future prison.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize