im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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