Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
