garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
