she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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