Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
